Ever wonder what happened to Mark? Well...

• If you didn't get your favorite single guy a cock cozy this year, you suck-->bit.ly/5vpHZS #
• Pls RT: Happy Holidays from the Dirty Fuckers at the League of Reluctant Adults... tinyurl.com/yayo36t #
• Repeat after me: I will not worry about the manuscript until Sunday. I will not worry... #
• Jealous of @Caroline_Henry's work Taco party that I made refried beans for...from scratch! Will retaliate with fast food! Oh yes I will! #
• Merry Christmas Twitterers! I'm panning on being a little scarce so have a good time over the next couple of days! #
• You know what'd go great with my Christmas stool? @DakotaCassidy's spare drum kit. twitgoo.com/aavtj #
• What says Christmas more than rats? yfrog.com/335kgrj #
• Xmas suggestions: Drunk adults should not try out pogo sticks in the dark. #
• Xmas Suggestions: Leave your outside holiday lights on so Jesus knows to slither into your gas fireplace. #

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Head Trip - Christmas Fan Service

I'm in Memphis visiting family! Flew in this morning to surprise them. I'll be back Saturday but due to... a surprise emergency involving my apartment Monday's comic might be a bit delayed. But I've already got it sketched up so even on Christmas I'm not slackin' off. ;)

Have a good holiday, you guys.

~Shinga

Ever wonder what happened to Mark? Well...

• Finally at Barnes & Noble. They're playing the Peanuts Christmas album, my fave. #
• I choose GREEN PILL!!! #

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Ever wonder what happened to Mark? Well...

• RT @KellyMeding Three Days to Dead: 4.5 stars from Romantic Times! ..."a thrilling urban fantasy full of desperate humans & menacing evil." #
• America’s Most Literate Cities, 2009 bit.ly/70A5fu (via @branflakez)--someone asked me why there were so many writers in Seattle. #
• Vampire Academy Jewelry and stuff! Order Now, unless you're a dolt. bit.ly/5p1LPB #
• I haz a tummy ache from all the CRACKer Candy. I might die now. #
• The Christmas Carols on XM, cookies are in the mixer and only one gift left to come in the mail. Looking good people! #
• When Dido is providing the holiday music, you can bet it'll be a white Christmas. Mighty white. #
• Watching Lost Season 1 for the first time. I do dig it. Just not as much as Fringe. Maybe it's the lack of the X-Files feel. #
• RT 2011. It's in Los Angeles at the Westin Bonaventure. (via @Debi_Murray) Hmm. #
• Dammit! Sugar headache. I can look forward to a few more of these this week. #

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Head Trip - Meanwhile, Back in Memphis... pt 3

This about wraps up the 'catching up' comics for now.

2009 has not been an entirely kind year to me and my family. ;)

(How the hell did I manage to post this twice... but the first post only being half done...)

Ever wonder what happened to Mark? Well...

• Today, we visit the Rue du Fauborg Saint-Honoré. Well, in the manuscript we do. And by we, I mean me. Someone gonna die in front of Dior! #
• Waited an hour and fifteen minutes to find out the scoop on Brittany Murphy's death and got nothing but gossip. Hissssss. #
• At Starbucks, Jiffy Lube hooked me up with a $5 gift card cuz it's Christmas and shit! #
• Damn it smells like burning rubber and bung in this Starbucks. They must be filming a porno movie in the back. #
• Who doesn't love cheese? #
• Gotta get back to work. Discuss amongst yourselves. Topics: uses for cheese, boring towns and things bikers hide in their spandex. #
• Attention Aspiring Writers: Enter to Win an RT Pre-Con & General-Con Registration! See @ bit.ly/7AdOZe #
• I'm about to ditch out of my library writing to gather all the ingredients for the big Christmas Cookiethon 2009! #
• This year we're making Cracker Candy (thanks @angelajames), Butterscotch Haystacks, Fudge, Russian Teacakes and Frosted sugar cookies. #
• The library is being infiltrated by suit-clad young men on a mission of literature delivery. I'm scared for my soul. #
• Craving tater tots something fierce but don't have a deep fryer. Too bad the baked version are an ABOMINATION against God. #theuglytruth #
• Road Trip of the Living Dead is a Six Dollar Bargain Book at Amazon! Go! Buy! Now! bit.ly/5Uf5B9 #
• Cracker candy chillin' like a gangsta. Not sure this tray's gonna last 'til Friday. In fact, I'm sure it won't. Muhahaha! #
• Sweet Jesus CRACKer Candy is totally accurate. twitgoo.com/a6trn #
• I'm afraid my heart might give out from all the salty buttery chocolatey goodness of the cracker candy. If so, know that I loved you... #

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Just popping my head in to wish everyone a Very Merry Christmas and a Happy, Healthy, Prosperous New Year.

For every year of my life (that I can remember) my dad would write up a funny letter about the state of the Gratton family to include in our Christmas cards. Recently, the littlest brother, Travis, has taken up the tradition. I just got the emailed version from him for proofing, and laughed so hard I asked him if I could share it on my blog.

The Golden Child = Sean, the middle son. Because he never left the Catholic Church, hooked up with inappropriate/crazy people, joined a fraternity, went to pagan festivals, yelled at Mom, drank in high school (that Mom knew of). All of which have been done by either Travis or I. Or both of us. Sean did listen to a lot of NIN and painted his fingers dark purple that one time in high school, but it was my polish, so I'm sure it was my fault anyway. :D

(That picture there is Travis and Dad post Thanksgiving dinner.  Yes, Travis is taking off his belt.)

Without further ado, the Gratton Family Christmas Letter:


Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

It’s been another exiting year for the Gratton Family in 2009, so I won’t waste anyone’s time with a long introduction. Everyone get ready as I allow my creative juices to start flowing all over the page.

Matt: Has continued to flourish as chairman of the TMC emergency department. He does this while still finding time to be loving husband and wonderful father. Amazingly he leads all of the other physicians in the ER with a 72% patient survival rate.

Joanne: has almost completed her grandmother training this year as she continues to baby-sit and organize gatherings for the neighborhood. She recently bolstered her standing as a potential grandmother by giving out communion at a local hospital. Hopefully all the hard work will pay off...I’m looking at the Golden Child. When she is not in training she continues to successfully stave off the certain disaster we all would face without her.

Tess and Natalie: If you haven’t heard by now you must not be that good of a family friend. Tessa Gratton’s first published novel, Blood Magic, is coming out in 2011 with Random House. It’s a wonderful story centered around magic, and I wouldn’t be surprised if blood was involved. With this news Tess is making a big push to be the new golden child. The main reason she will overpass my brother and I is the huge check coming her way. It doesn’t bother me though, because she is quickly becoming my favorite sibling. Natalie continues to save the world as the coordinator for some pinko-liberal-anti-red-blooded-American-save-the-environment research project at KU. I think she is recently returned from Copenhagen (wherever that is, I thought it was just chewing tobacco) where she was a major influence on Obama’s environmental policy.

Sean and Maureen: Sean continues his reign as most successful child in the family by graduating Magna Cum Laude from Georgetown’s Medical School. He began his residency in Neurology at Georgetown Hospital and it sounds like he’s working way too hard. They make him stay overnight! I believe he is happy, though, because he can finally start spending his big doctor salary which is the only reason he went to medical school in the first place. Maureen continues to plug away at her dissertation in inter-religious dialogue and is a tight race with Tess to get her work published first.

Travis: It’s hard to believe that the baby of the Gratton family has graduated from college, but sadly it’s true. After many late nights of drinking, hazing, and rarely studying the end has come for me. Luckily, some medical school with really low standards (KU) decided that they would let me in. Now all I have to do is survive the full time job I have at a Doctor’s office. My main duties revolve around performing open heart surgeries, walking on water, and nursing sick babies back to health.

Cheers,
Travis Gratton

Ever wonder what happened to Mark? Well...

• How many times can I watch Cursed? Just now, Pacey loves Wednesday with a viral werewolf love. #
• Holy crap! Brittany Murphy (Clueless) reportedly died from cardiac arrest at age 32. What tragedy. bit.ly/5wyCTL #
• Have a headache from looking at the computer screen. Also from trying to plan something. Must. Rest. Eyes. #
• Official Vampire Academy jewelry and more, including some cool Cemetery Gate stuff! bit.ly/5p1LPB #
• Haven't stopped moving today. Wrapped all the presents, cooked X2, now I'm heading out to Walmart for my meds for the sicky. #
• RT @laurendane: Curl Up With A Book...And a Nook contest has begun! 13 daily contests, 1 grand prize deets at bit.ly/4r4tII #
• Think I'll go write some down at the Jiffy Lube. Car has needed an oil change for 6 months. Just not as much as I needed coffee and treats. #

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Ever wonder what happened to Mark? Well...

• The Incredible Tammie Brown is on How Clean is Your House! As. A. Man. I'm disturbed. bit.ly/8xfqwR #
• YAY!!! RT @graphxgrrl: Woohoo! Street food reform in Seattle! bit.ly/6ZDoLt #
• At kid's birthday party/bowling rave. Booming techno is NOT a morning thing. yfrog.com/684nksj #
• Hola @JenniferRardin. All up in Twitter and I didn't even know it. How'd that happen? #
• An hour drive back from the last party for a half hour nap for the sick one. Then another hour drive for tonight's shindig. Argh. #
• Where to go for dinner in Seattle? Cheap, quick and with a parking lot. Anyone? (ps. not burgers or pizza) #
• Look! For X-mas @cmpriest got me a Freud finger puppet for me to make masturbate. yfrog.com/4annqj #

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From My Twitter:

• 23:06 Tuvix was the basketball coach on tonight's #NUMB3RS rerun! :-D #
• 12:28 I HATE SNOW... >:-O That is all. #

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Ever wonder what happened to Mark? Well...

• RT @seattlegeekly: #FF Episode #43 edition @JohnAnealio, @caitkitt @kenmcconnell & @badassoftheweek! and Harry Connolly who isn't on Twitter #
• Only an hour and ten minutes into the Today show and the hosts are already blowing each other. It's NEWS people! #
• Shopping list for People Who Don't Suck (Team Seattle edition)--> tweetphoto.com/6668031 #
• Winners announced in the Save Amanda Feral Contest, Pt. 1. ---> bit.ly/8dPFYs #
• Office at B&N all set up, I should be ready 2 go. Will someone tell me what this banquet table of shrieking banshees is doing in my space? #
• Thank God for the drive to my writing spot, almost skipped an entire chapter. Next five chapters plotted. Yay! #
• Came home to find Caroline watching the DNA Test Revelation Channel. It could only be better if it were filmed in an actual trailer park. #
• As parting gifts, the NOT-dads get to take home a skanky audience member and impregnate her...and the cycle continues. #
• Now that's the way to sell some shiz-- RT@psynde PEOPLE BUY MY JEWELRY!!! IT'S HAWT!!! GO NOW
  www.etsy.com/shop/psynde #
• Straight from the teat...and not a gas truck.twitgoo.com/a2slt #
• This is either hilarious or the end of a career. Poor John Cusack. bit.ly/4IfH5u #
• Watching a Guido provoking the dead with lame slurs on Ghost Adventures. Please spirits, beat him with your ethereal tire irons. #
• Caroline turned the channel to Jack Frost 2. Production values like a Thomas Dolby video. #
• Yes! This tale of a killer snowman is set at a tropical resort. Echoes of Monsturd! #
• Discipline is a Dirty Word: tinyurl.com/ydoxdxv (via @jayewells) #

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Have a wonderful birthday, navinator!

From My Twitter:

• 15:21 If you fall asleep in the middle of me talking to you and miss something, how does it become MY fault? #

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Check. It. Out. That to the right there is the Official Marked-By-My-Real-Editor-at-Random-House BLOOD MAGIC Draft. I don't know what it is about the rubber bands that make it look cooler than any version I've ever personally printed out. But it does, doesn't it?

My revision metaphor is Frankenstein's Monster: this is your book, a pile of dead parts. Pieces from corpses you've gathered over the last few weeks and sewn together in an attempt to give something life. To create your own monster.

I've had electronic files of my revision letter (3.5 pages!) and the first 1/3 of the novel, so I've already been working on outlines and revision plans and notecards to trick myself into thinking that I'm revision before I really dive in. BUT the electronic files are missing one crucial component: THE RED.

Every time I look at the red marks telling me what I'm doing wrong I get all excited. I admit it: I'm a revisions-addict. They turn me on. Make me all hot and bothered. Just look at the scrawling red words, the abrupt slashes, the sensual circles!

They're the physical manifestation of my book's blood spilled onto the pages. I'm about to give this book a final make-over. A nip here, new hair extensions there, lipstick, and maybe some nicer underwear. It's like the final stages of embalming. I've sucked out the blood and preserved the insides, and now it's time to wire the jaw closed and glue shut its eyelids.... I might need a less gruesome metaphor for this whole revision thing. I like this one... but I suspect I might lose people if I keep dragging it out.  So I'll pretend to be mature for a few minutes and spare you.

Man! I was supposed to post my Save Amanda Feral Contest Winners on Monday. Yet, here it’s Friday. A big HUGE thanks to everyone that helped to spread the word and ponied up some bucks for the books.  Keep up the good work. I’m starting to hear stuff back about the campaign. I’m almost hopeful!

Without further ado, the winners of the Battle of the Network Zombies ARCs are…

Lisa Kersten and Velvet!!!

So there you be. I’m going to set up another contest soon. But until then you know what you can get me for X-mas? A preorder of Happy Hour of the Damned (mmpb) from your favorite retailer (online or not).  Only you can help Save Amanda Feral!!!

And remember, the deal with University Books (outlined here) is ongoing, if you want any of the books personalized, including the upcoming Battle of the Network Zombies, just hit me up and I’ll scoot on over there.

Now.

Tomorrow is apparently the biggest shopping day of the year and I hate to leave you without a shopping list, so here’s one…

I’ll leave you with a question…

Does anyone hate those twitter summaries that show up on livejournal? I just started doing mine, but I tried to get it to collect them like a series of random thoughts. I thought all the ones with @replies wouldn’t be there, but you know how that goes.

Originally published at Mark Henry. You can comment here or there.

Ever wonder what happened to Mark? Well...

• Walmart parking lot is foggy and, no surprise, smells like a dirty diaper. #
• RT 3 Novella Urban Fantasy Series Giveaway from @Eververse! Just Comment to Win!! bit.ly/8Deuts #
• Someone broke my Twitter. Unless no one's around. #haveIbeenleftbehind? #
• Done with this bowshitass mess. Twitter better think about what it's done, if it expects to come out of the corner! #
• Had to downgrade some people from gift to card only. If you're one, take solace in that family are getting stale cookies instead of you. #
• Seriously, hate not gifting people I like, kills me that they might not get something foul and inappropriate under the tree. #
• I have no idea how long the Kindle version of Happy Hour of the Damned is going to be $5.59 so hurry! bit.ly/6NR7i6 #
• Um...I think I could manage a few. RT @StaciaKane: Planning a series of filthy Tweets for next week, to be tagged #letsputtheXbackinXmas #
• I'm leaving y'all. Off to Starfucks and more Mac Freedom assisted wordage. #
• Lydia's Chicken Mexican stewing away on the stove, smells like the late great El Soldado in here. Salivating profusely. #
• Oh why Lord does this remake of Amityville Horror suck so bad? If you know, give me a sign. #
• Coffeeeeeee. Also, where are my eye crust removers? I was promised servants with this whole writing gig. No? Have I been duped? #
• Oh shit zombie lovers! Dan O'Bannon, of Return of the Living Dead fame, died. Without him, no one would associate zombies with brains. Sigh. #
• Cat lovers! Have I got a deal for you... bit.ly/8s7d4q #

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